Sex Talk
Round 1: How to break the ice.
Welcome to this new series that I'm excited to start called "Sex Talk." This series is centered around conversations between you and your lover when discussing sex and intimacy.
I feel it's only right to start at the beginning before the ice is broken. How should you initiate?
These tips are especially good for femmes that have a new boo, especially a mostly virtual one but are struggling to start the conversation around sex. You're horny and you're ready to send those first set of nudes or you wanna know if they're even into the sexual things you're into. You're so used to allowing your partner to initiate the sexual aspect of your relationship, which is likely done with in-person interaction. You know, they make a move, and the little voice in your head screams, "FINALLY! Some dick/vag/strap!!!" Well, welcome to quarantine. If they're a gentleman/lady, they're really cautious of your boundaries, or they're used to those in-person moves themselves, it's time for YOU to lead the way and break that ice so you can get off AND get to know your lover a little better. After reviewing and executing these 7 tips, you should be ready to really dive deep into Sex Talk...
Lead them into the conversation by referring to your past. You can bring up sex without necessarily prompting them to talk about sex... but honestly, they'll probably take the bait. For example, tell a quick, halfway innocent anecdote about your ex that slightly involves sex (but don't talk about your ex too much, now). Or a funny/awkward but sexual situation you ended up in. Maybe a date that was going well until you made it to their bedroom (but don't kink shame anyone unless it's race or age play). This move may need to be set up by bringing up something that will "remind you" of that one time... Set it up!
Bring sex up but blame a friend. I know this sounds childish (and honestly, it is) but if you're really that nervous, ask a question and play it off like the group message is talking about it. For example, ask them, "do men really like XYZ? I'm asking because my friend had this awkward experience and we're talking about it in the group chat."
Like & bring up or privately respond to a spicy social media post. We all (okay maybe not all of us) have reposted, tweeted, or retweeted something a lil sexual. Take that post as an opportunity to let them know that you're down to discuss the nasty.
SEND them a spicy social media post. This is risky and you should make sure they're comfortable with this. Feel out the vibe; read the room; then send a tweet you found on the TL.
Speaking of TL... we all know Twitter likes to recycle hypothetical questions. "Ladies, would y'all ever XYZ a guy?" "Do guys really like XYZ?" Next time, grab one, send it to them, and ask for their thoughts. Now, you're already asking the important questions and you're DEFINITELY ready for the next round.
This one is for the bolder people out there that are just looking for a new way to bring it up... simply ask if they would like nudes (IF you trust that person). They'll either be down or they'll establish their boundaries. We're all about consent over here and this tip and the next are the CLEAREST ways to ask for it.
Straight up ask. This is my favorite way. Make sure they're okay with the conversation and you respect their boundaries. I usually ask, "may I ask you a personal question?" Then, I typically ask one of the questions in part 2.
Got it? Ready for round 2? Next time around, you and your partner will be answering some very personal questions. These questions will also allow you to get to know yourself as a sexual being.
Part 2 will be posted by March 4, 2021 @ 5:00PM.
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